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Tue, May 25

COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY: SLOPPY AND DESPERATE

@ 3:29 PM

Brian Corman apologized to me. Flat-out admitted his thievery, his stupidity. Owned it all. Good man. Still makes me wonder what he might have done to become valedictorian — I mean, if he’s willing to steal material for something as inconsequential as a speech, how rubbery did his boundaries become when his GPA and future career were on the line? Oh well.

I’ve taken the video down from my site, since it’s already all over the fucking internet. Mr. Corman alluded to Columbia students always taking the “hard road” in his speech. Welcome to the hard road, Bri-Bri.

And Columbia University, with its “high standards”, has honorably re-posted video of the speech on YouTube after briefly taking it down. They added this disclaimer, seen here in a screen grab:



Yep. Two spellings of my name. High standards, indeed. Did the salutatorian smash a watermelon?



Post Comment
 
Posted by: SanFranMan @ 3:44 PM on 5.25.2010
What bit did he rip?

 
 
Posted by: FilthyRichmond.com @ 3:45 PM on 5.25.2010
At least a tenth of the people in the crowd must have known that material was not his when he said it. There was just no way on Earth it was going to go unnoticed. Not too bright.

 
 
Posted by: Jim @ 3:46 PM on 5.25.2010
Can we read the apology?

 
 
Posted by: Jim @ 3:46 PM on 5.25.2010
Can we read the apology?

 
 
Posted by: Carl @ 3:46 PM on 5.25.2010
Patten Auswold.

 
 
Posted by: Jim Trust @ 3:47 PM on 5.25.2010
Maybe he couldn't score the Adderall in time to write it... What a jackass.

 
 
Posted by: clint page @ 3:48 PM on 5.25.2010
Good old George S. Lee Harvey Patton Oswald. The official general/comedian/school book wrangler of the University of Columbia.

 
 
Posted by: mr_josh @ 3:48 PM on 5.25.2010
The "smash a watermelon" part made me spit coffee a little.

 
 
Posted by: James @ 3:49 PM on 5.25.2010
Patton Oswalt
Patent Oswald
Baton Oscar
Batting Austin
Patron Oz Balls
Pylon Owaltz
Python A Wasslin
Picayune Wasserman
Passin' Oscar
Pratton Orswald
Paton OshKoshBGosh
Pastly Ostrich
Portund Ozmund
etc.

Columbia University of General Studies! We're... General!

 
 
Posted by: ElephantDanger @ 3:49 PM on 5.25.2010
Yeah, it's great that he apologized, but he really had no other option. In the few hours following your tweet, a mini-explosion blew apart the Interwebs.
And you certainly bring up a good point. If he, so easily and carelessly, ripped off one of your bits for something as forgettable as a valedictorian speech, who knows what else he has done along the road to that position.
A simple note of credit before the joke is all he really needed.
Poor choices all around.

 
 
Posted by: puffpuffdub @ 3:50 PM on 5.25.2010
That bit about the figure skater was killer... what a hack that guy is.

 
 
Posted by: puffpuffdub @ 3:50 PM on 5.25.2010
That bit about the figure skater was killer... what a hack that guy is.

 
 
Posted by: Doug Frye @ 3:50 PM on 5.25.2010
Wow! at this point you should just rent out your stuff! It's all the rage apparently. WTF?

 
 
Posted by: Carrie @ 3:52 PM on 5.25.2010
I totally agree that this is blatantly wrong, but apart from the (admittedly stupid) misspelling of Oswalt, I don't think Columbia is really at fault here. Unless this guy was known to have a history of plagiarism, how could they have anticipated this? Let's place the full blame on Mr. Corman here. It's not Columbia's fault that he acted so stupidly.

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Posted by: Andy Rich @ 3:52 PM on 5.25.2010
Patton, I hope - really, really hope - this and the Nick Madson incident are proving to be tasty grist for the mill of your future stand-up material. My favorite parts of your act are always the relating of stories that happened to you personally (the interrupted orgy and Dr. Pepper being two of my all-time faves).

 
 
Posted by: MissCheeVious @ 3:53 PM on 5.25.2010
"Welcome to the hard road Bri Bri...". You're my hero Master P.

 
 
Posted by: QuoterGal @ 3:53 PM on 5.25.2010
@SanFranMan

This related TrueSlant blog shows Mr. Os-WALD ; > doing the particular bit that was stolen: http://trueslant.com/level/2010/05/25/columbia-valedictorian-apes-patton-oswalts-physics-for-poets-jokes/

(I've not shortened the link so you can see it's not a link to, you know, viagra or something...)

 
 
Posted by: nikki @ 3:54 PM on 5.25.2010
what a douche. this is the future of America. Just great.

 
 
Posted by: karin @ 3:55 PM on 5.25.2010
I guess it's just a sign of Patton's good writing, everyone can relate, relate so well they think it happened to them.

 
 
Posted by: Johnny @ 3:59 PM on 5.25.2010
Why does anyone care that a student speaking at a graduation ceremony stole a joke from a famous comedian? He's a nobody speaking to a few hundred people, most of whom were probably grateful for a joke amidst all the regular commencement tedium. It's not as if this guy is trying to be a stand-up comedian - it's a fucking graduation speech. At least he had the good sense to steal a funny joke. Regular people steal jokes from real comedians all the time at parties and in emails. Do all those people deserve to get called out too?

Posted by: TheDuchess @ 1:20 AM on 10.12.2012
Yes annyone that Steals anything from another YES they should get called out. How hard is it to say where the material came from either before or after use.
Thats why we have copyright laws.
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
   
   
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