ALL TEN of my upcoming shows now on sale! NYC, Boston, Phoenix, Philly, Portland & lots more! Go here: http://t.co/cMQSwFtLNW
"Here's 20 Vicodin. Try to stop carrying people at the beach." -- Jesus' chiropractor
If a psychokiller cut the power in my house just now & then turned it back on I will totally live-Tweet my murder & be EXTRA snarky
Dear Kirk Cameron, I don't need saving. I'm fine. You're acting like Travis Bickle. Signed, Christmas
I warned you about KFC in 2007 and you all laughed. Probably shouldn't have put my warning on a comedy album, but still...

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My Weakness Is Strong! - DVD/CD

$13.49

My new 1 Hour Stand-Up Special. Featuring bonus features, DVD-only short films and more! Released on Warner Brothers records.

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