Dear #Ferguson PD: When the citizens peacefully asked you to do the right thing they didn't mean re-enact the Spike Lee movie.
Cookies, coffee & Harlan Ellison, helping me get through Robin Williams' passing. Still can't accept he's gone: http://t.co/ZVkuL6AaAr
"But doctor, I AM Pagliacci." That's the only way this makes sense. Can't stand thinking of him being that sad. #RIPRobinWilliams
I'm going radio silent until Tuesday, September 2nd. The most recent post on my Facebook will explain why: http://t.co/RvO2r2mmiQ
Gift from a fan. My legacy. My curse. http://t.co/J20Insgrb7

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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