The angry responses I get when I make fun of Bill O'Reilly on Twitter let me know which of my followers use catheters.
Has the Information Society released a statement yet? #RIPLeonardNimoy
SLLAPa llama in a dress what's diff colors Ambien
Okay then, what color is THIS dress? Are you sitting down? It's actually three muffins! http://t.co/Cj7MJASBm6
Seriously, the level of detail on tonight's Ferris Bueller episode of @TheGoldbergsABC is at @alyankovic early-80s video level.

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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