.@JACKIEBEAT @Puddinstrip With my brother? Believe me, it always is. So is "date."
.@MrGeorgeWallace I sponsor an Afghan child named L'inkedIn.
.@MrGeorgeWallace I'm still a little gun-shy after all the hassle with my White People Meet account* (*Friendster page)
More of me yakking about my Twitter break, this time to the @washingtonpost: http://t.co/jhE8VNhvuF
This is how @HBO sent me the 1st season of TRUE DETECTIVE ON DVD. #unhumblebrag http://t.co/pt88p6cxYv

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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