"He's got a heavy English accent. Could be a fruitcake." God, I love Walter Matthau in TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE. #Ebertfest2014
$20 Fuddrucker's gift card, taser & a copy of The Artist's Way. #MyEarthquakeKit
"You assholes are 'sposed to be collecting TOLLS. You're sittin' in this house making cookies? Yer costin' me money!" -- history, I guess
"There's a cis-privilege outrage somewhere in the My Little Pony cartoon. But where, dammit? WHERE?!?" -- @Salon writer at 3am
A major player gets referenced tonight on @AgentsofSHIELD & it's gonna make you go Whaaaaaaaaaaa? #ItsAllConnected

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Werewolves and Lollipops

$14.21

"Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!" Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you "Werewolves and Lollipops," now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment.

Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips!

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